tangledthespian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tangledthespian) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
ch3rry_v1g1l4nt1sm2012-08-05 02:32 am
tangledthespian) wrote in ch3rry_v1g1l4nt1sm2012-08-05 02:32 am
Entry tags:
Round 4: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE: Timeline Turnabout!
Summary: Dave hits a legal snag while he and Terezi are carrying out their plans to manipulate the LOHAC Stock Exchange for fun and profit,and also time shenanigans.
Characters: Dave Strider, Terezi Pyrope, Nakodiles
Ships: Dave <> Terezi
Category One:
Tags Present: None
Tags Not Used: No Cat.1 tags used.
No other Cat.1 tags apply.
Category Two:
Tags Present: None
Tags Not Used: No Cat.2 tags used.
No other Cat.2 tags apply.
This is a choose-your-own-adventure style game. At each branch, you will make a decision as either Dave or Terezi, then go to the next indicated event. There is one path of choices to remain in the alpha timeline, but multiple doomed paths. Remember, a good moirail will not only calm down an overly aggressive palepal but also make sure to discourage their moirail from taking actions that will hurt themselves!
> Reader: Be Dave Strider
You are now Dave Strider, and you are about to go all out Gordon Gekko on the LOHAC Stock Exchange. That is to say, you are going to pull the greatest insider trading scam that ever was. Before the biggest boondollar rip-off in the history of paradox space can go down, though, you have to meet with your contact—you, from another point in your timeloops. Then you’ll tell yourself where the invisible hand of the market will drag itself over the financial Ouija board of the gator’s corrupted economy so that you can invest in the best and make those big boonbucks. Now, this operation has gotta be covert, so you’ll likely be wearing an ironically ridiculous clever disguise to ensure that none of the gators recognize you.
Oh hey one of the gators recognized you.
> Dave: Take care of the problem yourself.
> Dave: Consult Terezi.
> Dave: Take care of the problem yourself.
Yeah this gator is going down right now. There’s no way you’re letting these nakking bastards ruin this scam. All the past and future yous are counting on it.
The gator sees the feral glint in your shades and bolts. You flashstep forward and before it can so much as nak, you’ve booted the gator off into the nearest pool of lava. The perfect crime, no one will ever know.
… Except for all of the other gators who just watched you punt one of their bros into the lava. On second thought, you could have thought that one through. Inside trading is a heinous crime, sure, but so is animal cruelty.
You are promptly arrested by the LOHACPD. Your punishment is swift, cruel, and tastes bitterly of onions.
> Dave: Timejump backwards?
> Dave: Consult Terezi.
You quickly pull up pesterchum.
TG: yo terezi mayday
TG: the crow is about to fly the coop
TG: the croc is in the shed
TG: the shed which is apparently also a coop i guess
TG: what is an actual coop anyway its like a henhouse right
TG: or one of those places crazy city dwellers keep pigeons on their roof
TG: or is that a hutch
GC: HMM? WH4T 4R3 YOU T4LK1NG 4BOUT? >:?
TG: im at the lohac stock exchange and this skinny nakodile is giving me the evil eye
TG: either hes seriously onto me or hes seriously into me and i dont really want to find out which option is right because neither one of them is going to end with me walking away with my boonbucks unscarred
TG: so what do i do should i just punt him into the lava
TG: theres enough of it around
> Terezi: Assist Dave with his problem.
> Terezi: Tell Dave he’s being paranoid.
> Terezi: Tell Dave he’s being paranoid.
GC: D4V3, NO ON3 1S ST4R1NG 4T YOU.
GC: 1F TH3Y 4R3, 1T’S PROB4BLY JUST B3C4US3 YOU SM3LL SO D4PP3R 1N YOUR L1COR1C3 SU1T! >:]
GC: 1 4M FULLY CONV1NC3D TH4T YOU C4N T4K3 C4R3 OF TH1S ON3 ON YOUR OWN.
TG: are you sure
GC: Y3S. TH3R3 1S NOT 4 SHR3D OF R34SON4BL3 DOUBT 1N MY M1ND.
TG: i dunno tz that gator is acting pretty shifty
GC: D4V3, YOU W4NT TO K33P UP W1TH JOHN, R1GHT? WOULD JOHN B3 4FR41D OF 4 SH1FTY G4TOR?
TG: man i dunno whos to say egbert would even be fleecing a bunch of gators in the first place
TG: hed be more likely to blow his own boonbucks on buying his consorts stupid hats or something equally good natured and fiscally irresponsible
TG: but i guess not
GC: GOOD. TH3N W3 4GR33!
GC: NOW L3T M3 G3T B4CK TO DR4W1NG YOU MOR3 D3L1C1OUS COM1CS, H3 H3 H3.
-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] has stopped trolling turntechGodhead [TG] ! –
Well Dave, you heard the lady.
> Dave: Take care of the problem by yourself.
> Terezi: Assist Dave with his problem.
GC: HMM, TH4T DO3S SOUND TROUBL1NG.
GC: G1V3 M3 4 MOM3NT TO CONS1D3R YOUR OPT1ONS.
You pause, considering the myriad of ways this scenario could play out, depending on the actions Dave might take. You know what the supposedly desirable outcome would be; Dave gets off scott free and manages to illegally obtain billions of the nakodile’s hard-earned boondollars. That was the goal of this heinous heist, you must admit.
And yet, is it JUST to let him get away with it all, without sweating even a little? Without even the tiniest bit of judicial recompense for his flagrant, if necessary, flouting of financial law? Did he or did he not just finish asking if you would become an accessory to the willful murder of an innocent gator via death by lava?
> Terezi: Give Dave the guilty verdict.
> Terezi: Become an accessory to fraud and suggest a means of escape.
> Terezi: Give Dave the guilty verdict.
GC: W3LL, COOLK1D, 1T LOOKS 4S 1F YOU’V3 B33N C4UGHT.
GC: NOW 1S TH3 T1M3 TO CONF3SS YOUR CR1M3!
TG: what the what
GC: YOU MUST T4K3 4DV4NT4G3 OF TH1S MOM3NT 4ND TURN YOURS3LF 1N TO TH3 4UTHOR1T13S, B3FOR3 TH3 W1TNESS M4K3S 4 C1T1Z3N’S 4RR3ST!
GC: B3S1D3S, 1F YOU TURN YOURS3LF 1N, YOUR S3NT3NC3 W1LL L1K3LY B3 MUCH L1GHT3R.
GC: TH3Y M4Y B4R3LY PUN1SH YOU 4T 4LL!
GC: 1T 1S TH3 B3ST W4Y, D4V3. TH3 GU1LTY C4N N3V3R 3SC4P3 PUN1SHM3NT FOR LONG. >:]
TG: wait youre actually serious
> Dave: Accept Terezi’s sound legal counsel.
> Dave: Call Terezi out.
> Dave: Accept Terezi’s sound legal counsel.
TG: ok welp
TG: you would know more about courtroom shenanigans than me i guess
TG: if you really think that turning myself in is gonna be the best way to pull this off
TG: i guess maybe its like a double bluff or something
TG: i go to jail but the transaction still gets made unawares
TG: yeah that makes sense
TG: ill just leave this suitcase where the other me can find it
TG: add a little note to remind myself to bail my ass outta alcatraz
-- turntechGodhead [TG] has stopped pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] ! --
You go to turn yourself into the LOHACPD. They confusedly arrest you and give you their lightest sentence.
You didn’t realize it meant their lightest calorie sentence. Looks like coolkid soup is on the menu tonight.
> Dave: Timejump backward?
> Terezi: Become an accessory to fraud and suggest a means of escape.
GC: W3LL 1 GU3SS 1 C4N’T JUST L3T YOU G3T 4RR3ST3D.
GC: 1 DON’T TH1NK PUNT1NG G4TORS 1S TH3 4NSW3R THOUGH.
GC: HOW MUCH T1M3 L3FT UNT1L YOU M33T UP W1TH YOUR P4ST S3LF?
TG: just under five minutes
GC: ALR1GHT TH4T SHOULD B3 F1NE.
GC: WH4T YOU N33D 1S SOM3TH1NG TH4T W1LL BOTH C4US3 4 D1STR4CT1ON 4ND M4K3 SUR3 TH4T TH3 SH1FTY N4KOD1L3 C4NNOT G1V3 H1S T3ST1MONY UNT1L LONG 4FT3R YOU H4V3 4BSCOND3D W1TH YOUR C4S3 FULL OF BOONDOLL4RS!
GC: 1 TH1NK YOU SHOULD FR4M3 H1M. >:]
TG: what
GC: H4V3 H1M T4K3 TH3 F4LL FOR YOUR M1SD33DS, D4V3.
TG: okay but isnt pointing my finger at him gonna draw attention to me as well
GC: NOT 1F YOU’R3 SN34KY 4BOUT 1T!
TG: i dunno tz
TG: it seems risky
> Dave: Frame the gator. Be the master thief.
> Dave: Play it cool and try not to draw attention to yourself.
> Dave: Call Terezi out.
TG: ok terezi im gonna assume youre doing that thing where you get a hard on for justice
TG: and start cackling about judgement and the death penalty and judge trudy and other creepy ass shit and then put your little smileys after it like oh hey look how cute and not totally insane i am
TG: and that the advice you just gave me had no actual bearing to this real life situation i am in
TG: because that is the shittiest plan of action i have ever heard
GC: YOU TH1NK MY SM1L3YS 4R3 CUT3, D4V3? >:]
GC: WH4T 4 N1C3 TH1NG TO S4Y!
TG: so whats the real plan
GC: W3LL. 1 SUPPOS3 1 COULD TH1NK OF SOM3TH1NG 3LS3.
> Terezi: Become an accessory to fraud and suggest a means of escape.
> Dave: Play it cool and try not to draw attention to yourself.
You do not play it cool because you were already as cold as a polar bear’s left testicle. You are ice-cream sundae cool. You are walking into the movie theater from a muggy hundred-degree day, jesus dick why the fuck would anyone be blasting this many air conditioners cool. Cool is not so much a thing you do as it is your very state of being.
You stay cool and lean casually back against the wall, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. To your relief, you notice that, while you were busy existing in a continued state of cool, the suspicious gator disappeared.
Unfortunately, he returns about a minute later with several LOHACPD officer crocs with billy clubs and angry, law enforcing expressions. You are so boned.
You may be cool, but convection works in mysterious ways, and this soup is pretty damn hot.
> Dave: Timejump backwards?
> Dave: Frame the gator. Be the master thief.
TG: right
TG: yeah i think ive got an idea
TG: stand by for further updates on operation later gator
-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] ! –
You bide your time, moving slowly closer and closer to the gator. You don’t want to scare him off. When you’re close enough, you pull a list of information about some of the stocks you know will rise out of your sylladex and say very loudly,
DAVE: yo excuse me sir but you seem to have dropped this piece of incriminating evidence
All of the gators around you start nakking up a storm, as the patsy gator starts flipping out and running in confused circles. You plant the list on him and high tail it out of there.
A minute later, the LOHACPD officers show up and surround the poor shmuck. They find the list you planted on him, and he is dragged away to become gator soup. You are now free to meet up with your past self unimpeded.
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] !--
TG: mission accomplished
TG: thanks
GC: >;]
-- turntechGodhead [TG] has ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] !—
Characters: Dave Strider, Terezi Pyrope, Nakodiles
Ships: Dave <> Terezi
Category One:
Tags Present: None
Tags Not Used: No Cat.1 tags used.
No other Cat.1 tags apply.
Category Two:
Tags Present: None
Tags Not Used: No Cat.2 tags used.
No other Cat.2 tags apply.
This is a choose-your-own-adventure style game. At each branch, you will make a decision as either Dave or Terezi, then go to the next indicated event. There is one path of choices to remain in the alpha timeline, but multiple doomed paths. Remember, a good moirail will not only calm down an overly aggressive palepal but also make sure to discourage their moirail from taking actions that will hurt themselves!
> Reader: Be Dave Strider
You are now Dave Strider, and you are about to go all out Gordon Gekko on the LOHAC Stock Exchange. That is to say, you are going to pull the greatest insider trading scam that ever was. Before the biggest boondollar rip-off in the history of paradox space can go down, though, you have to meet with your contact—you, from another point in your timeloops. Then you’ll tell yourself where the invisible hand of the market will drag itself over the financial Ouija board of the gator’s corrupted economy so that you can invest in the best and make those big boonbucks. Now, this operation has gotta be covert, so you’ll likely be wearing an ironically ridiculous clever disguise to ensure that none of the gators recognize you.
Oh hey one of the gators recognized you.
> Dave: Take care of the problem yourself.
> Dave: Consult Terezi.
> Dave: Take care of the problem yourself.
Yeah this gator is going down right now. There’s no way you’re letting these nakking bastards ruin this scam. All the past and future yous are counting on it.
The gator sees the feral glint in your shades and bolts. You flashstep forward and before it can so much as nak, you’ve booted the gator off into the nearest pool of lava. The perfect crime, no one will ever know.
… Except for all of the other gators who just watched you punt one of their bros into the lava. On second thought, you could have thought that one through. Inside trading is a heinous crime, sure, but so is animal cruelty.
You are promptly arrested by the LOHACPD. Your punishment is swift, cruel, and tastes bitterly of onions.
> Dave: Timejump backwards?
> Dave: Consult Terezi.
You quickly pull up pesterchum.
TG: yo terezi mayday
TG: the crow is about to fly the coop
TG: the croc is in the shed
TG: the shed which is apparently also a coop i guess
TG: what is an actual coop anyway its like a henhouse right
TG: or one of those places crazy city dwellers keep pigeons on their roof
TG: or is that a hutch
GC: HMM? WH4T 4R3 YOU T4LK1NG 4BOUT? >:?
TG: im at the lohac stock exchange and this skinny nakodile is giving me the evil eye
TG: either hes seriously onto me or hes seriously into me and i dont really want to find out which option is right because neither one of them is going to end with me walking away with my boonbucks unscarred
TG: so what do i do should i just punt him into the lava
TG: theres enough of it around
> Terezi: Assist Dave with his problem.
> Terezi: Tell Dave he’s being paranoid.
> Terezi: Tell Dave he’s being paranoid.
GC: D4V3, NO ON3 1S ST4R1NG 4T YOU.
GC: 1F TH3Y 4R3, 1T’S PROB4BLY JUST B3C4US3 YOU SM3LL SO D4PP3R 1N YOUR L1COR1C3 SU1T! >:]
GC: 1 4M FULLY CONV1NC3D TH4T YOU C4N T4K3 C4R3 OF TH1S ON3 ON YOUR OWN.
TG: are you sure
GC: Y3S. TH3R3 1S NOT 4 SHR3D OF R34SON4BL3 DOUBT 1N MY M1ND.
TG: i dunno tz that gator is acting pretty shifty
GC: D4V3, YOU W4NT TO K33P UP W1TH JOHN, R1GHT? WOULD JOHN B3 4FR41D OF 4 SH1FTY G4TOR?
TG: man i dunno whos to say egbert would even be fleecing a bunch of gators in the first place
TG: hed be more likely to blow his own boonbucks on buying his consorts stupid hats or something equally good natured and fiscally irresponsible
TG: but i guess not
GC: GOOD. TH3N W3 4GR33!
GC: NOW L3T M3 G3T B4CK TO DR4W1NG YOU MOR3 D3L1C1OUS COM1CS, H3 H3 H3.
-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] has stopped trolling turntechGodhead [TG] ! –
Well Dave, you heard the lady.
> Dave: Take care of the problem by yourself.
> Terezi: Assist Dave with his problem.
GC: HMM, TH4T DO3S SOUND TROUBL1NG.
GC: G1V3 M3 4 MOM3NT TO CONS1D3R YOUR OPT1ONS.
You pause, considering the myriad of ways this scenario could play out, depending on the actions Dave might take. You know what the supposedly desirable outcome would be; Dave gets off scott free and manages to illegally obtain billions of the nakodile’s hard-earned boondollars. That was the goal of this heinous heist, you must admit.
And yet, is it JUST to let him get away with it all, without sweating even a little? Without even the tiniest bit of judicial recompense for his flagrant, if necessary, flouting of financial law? Did he or did he not just finish asking if you would become an accessory to the willful murder of an innocent gator via death by lava?
> Terezi: Give Dave the guilty verdict.
> Terezi: Become an accessory to fraud and suggest a means of escape.
> Terezi: Give Dave the guilty verdict.
GC: W3LL, COOLK1D, 1T LOOKS 4S 1F YOU’V3 B33N C4UGHT.
GC: NOW 1S TH3 T1M3 TO CONF3SS YOUR CR1M3!
TG: what the what
GC: YOU MUST T4K3 4DV4NT4G3 OF TH1S MOM3NT 4ND TURN YOURS3LF 1N TO TH3 4UTHOR1T13S, B3FOR3 TH3 W1TNESS M4K3S 4 C1T1Z3N’S 4RR3ST!
GC: B3S1D3S, 1F YOU TURN YOURS3LF 1N, YOUR S3NT3NC3 W1LL L1K3LY B3 MUCH L1GHT3R.
GC: TH3Y M4Y B4R3LY PUN1SH YOU 4T 4LL!
GC: 1T 1S TH3 B3ST W4Y, D4V3. TH3 GU1LTY C4N N3V3R 3SC4P3 PUN1SHM3NT FOR LONG. >:]
TG: wait youre actually serious
> Dave: Accept Terezi’s sound legal counsel.
> Dave: Call Terezi out.
> Dave: Accept Terezi’s sound legal counsel.
TG: ok welp
TG: you would know more about courtroom shenanigans than me i guess
TG: if you really think that turning myself in is gonna be the best way to pull this off
TG: i guess maybe its like a double bluff or something
TG: i go to jail but the transaction still gets made unawares
TG: yeah that makes sense
TG: ill just leave this suitcase where the other me can find it
TG: add a little note to remind myself to bail my ass outta alcatraz
-- turntechGodhead [TG] has stopped pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] ! --
You go to turn yourself into the LOHACPD. They confusedly arrest you and give you their lightest sentence.
You didn’t realize it meant their lightest calorie sentence. Looks like coolkid soup is on the menu tonight.
> Dave: Timejump backward?
> Terezi: Become an accessory to fraud and suggest a means of escape.
GC: W3LL 1 GU3SS 1 C4N’T JUST L3T YOU G3T 4RR3ST3D.
GC: 1 DON’T TH1NK PUNT1NG G4TORS 1S TH3 4NSW3R THOUGH.
GC: HOW MUCH T1M3 L3FT UNT1L YOU M33T UP W1TH YOUR P4ST S3LF?
TG: just under five minutes
GC: ALR1GHT TH4T SHOULD B3 F1NE.
GC: WH4T YOU N33D 1S SOM3TH1NG TH4T W1LL BOTH C4US3 4 D1STR4CT1ON 4ND M4K3 SUR3 TH4T TH3 SH1FTY N4KOD1L3 C4NNOT G1V3 H1S T3ST1MONY UNT1L LONG 4FT3R YOU H4V3 4BSCOND3D W1TH YOUR C4S3 FULL OF BOONDOLL4RS!
GC: 1 TH1NK YOU SHOULD FR4M3 H1M. >:]
TG: what
GC: H4V3 H1M T4K3 TH3 F4LL FOR YOUR M1SD33DS, D4V3.
TG: okay but isnt pointing my finger at him gonna draw attention to me as well
GC: NOT 1F YOU’R3 SN34KY 4BOUT 1T!
TG: i dunno tz
TG: it seems risky
> Dave: Frame the gator. Be the master thief.
> Dave: Play it cool and try not to draw attention to yourself.
> Dave: Call Terezi out.
TG: ok terezi im gonna assume youre doing that thing where you get a hard on for justice
TG: and start cackling about judgement and the death penalty and judge trudy and other creepy ass shit and then put your little smileys after it like oh hey look how cute and not totally insane i am
TG: and that the advice you just gave me had no actual bearing to this real life situation i am in
TG: because that is the shittiest plan of action i have ever heard
GC: YOU TH1NK MY SM1L3YS 4R3 CUT3, D4V3? >:]
GC: WH4T 4 N1C3 TH1NG TO S4Y!
TG: so whats the real plan
GC: W3LL. 1 SUPPOS3 1 COULD TH1NK OF SOM3TH1NG 3LS3.
> Terezi: Become an accessory to fraud and suggest a means of escape.
> Dave: Play it cool and try not to draw attention to yourself.
You do not play it cool because you were already as cold as a polar bear’s left testicle. You are ice-cream sundae cool. You are walking into the movie theater from a muggy hundred-degree day, jesus dick why the fuck would anyone be blasting this many air conditioners cool. Cool is not so much a thing you do as it is your very state of being.
You stay cool and lean casually back against the wall, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. To your relief, you notice that, while you were busy existing in a continued state of cool, the suspicious gator disappeared.
Unfortunately, he returns about a minute later with several LOHACPD officer crocs with billy clubs and angry, law enforcing expressions. You are so boned.
You may be cool, but convection works in mysterious ways, and this soup is pretty damn hot.
> Dave: Timejump backwards?
> Dave: Frame the gator. Be the master thief.
TG: right
TG: yeah i think ive got an idea
TG: stand by for further updates on operation later gator
-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] ! –
You bide your time, moving slowly closer and closer to the gator. You don’t want to scare him off. When you’re close enough, you pull a list of information about some of the stocks you know will rise out of your sylladex and say very loudly,
DAVE: yo excuse me sir but you seem to have dropped this piece of incriminating evidence
All of the gators around you start nakking up a storm, as the patsy gator starts flipping out and running in confused circles. You plant the list on him and high tail it out of there.
A minute later, the LOHACPD officers show up and surround the poor shmuck. They find the list you planted on him, and he is dragged away to become gator soup. You are now free to meet up with your past self unimpeded.
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] !--
TG: mission accomplished
TG: thanks
GC: >;]
-- turntechGodhead [TG] has ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] !—